When we are so often confronted with media that urges us to hide our wrinkles and scars, it can be hard to remember that aging is a natural process. There is an increased stigma against features of old age. However, these features are a sign of a life well-spent and well-lived. Our bodies accumulate the loves and losses we bear throughout life, making a story out of our skin. There is beauty in knowing your story, in showing off the wrinkles and scars you have earned that make your life uniquely your own.
This may be easier said than done. As we all continue to age, our relationship with beauty is bound to change. Joyce Johnson and John Burbage reflect on this and more as they consider how their age has impacted their perception of their own beauty.
Johnson explained that as she has gotten older she has found that she does not like to alter or add anything to her face. “You get more puffiness under your eyes, and you’re often trying to keep your skin smooth. I just kind of like trying to keep my natural. I don’t do a whole lot of makeup or anything. I just like being me, being natural.”
Burbage, however, admitted that he began to consider his physical appearance more as his age began to show on his face. He explained that he has worn glasses for most of his life. “But then, at a certain age, not too long ago, I noticed, ‘Wow, there’s circles and bags behind those frames.’ So I keep them on.”
Burbage also expressed slight disappointment in not taking better care of his skin in preparation for aging. That being said, he has found that this has not affected his self-worth. “It doesn’t stick with me," he said. "I mean, I still know and I’m comfortable with who I am. Beauty doesn't necessarily factor in my comfort or happiness.”
Reflecting on his youth, Burbage recalls the rise of MTV and targeted commercials regarding beauty products and brands. Burbage explained that he viewed these commercials from an analytical rather than consumer perspective, which motivated him to pursue advertising as a profession. Burbage is currently the Advertising Director for the USC Office of Student Media. “Maybe that’s where I decided early I’m not gonna get caught up in all that," he said. "Yet it still continued—and probably does today in different forms—to remind you that, ‘You need to buy our stuff in order to be where we told you we think you should be,’ in terms of looks and appearances.”
Burbage explained some of the scars he gained throughout his life. One in particular, a melanoma scar on his shoulder, was “emotionally and psychologically damaging.”
Burbage also shared a time as a student in USC, when he was preparing to join his roommates for a trip to the beach. “I was rushing down the Russell House stairs to get in the car, and the door was locked, and my body went forward into the doorframe, and left a big old gash. Fortunately, the Thomson Student Health Center was open, and I got six or eight stitches. It took us two hours longer to get to the beach.”
These scars serve to remind Burbage of the choices he has made throughout his life. They are a physical representation of the lessons he has learned and events he has endured. “Those things remind you of how short this time that we have is,” he said.
Johnson, on the other hand, shared a more emotional scar she has carried with her. “Sickness started, and when one sickness started, it just seems like a lot of other things that started to happen. Then it was just too much for me to deal with. The depression and anxiety set in because I had to come out of work—the doctors took me out of work.” This, combined with the isolation Johnson faced during COVID, worsened her depression and anxiety as she faced loneliness and separation from her children and grandchildren.
Now, Johnson and Burbage derive their happiness from spending time with friends and family. Additionally, Johnson finds joy in serving in the ministry at her church. She explained how her faith has impacted her relationship with beauty. “Just knowing that God created me for who I am and the way I am, it makes it better for me.”
Scars may not bring happy memories, and one’s relationship with beauty and aging may not always be linear. Yet, scars and wrinkles still deserve to be remembered and celebrated. They are a sign of life. Without them, we may find it easier to forget the hardships we have faced, the trials that have culminated to make us the person we are today.
To young adults still navigating their relationship with beauty and aging, Burbage gave the following advice: “Try to avoid the words that come from others who would minimize or–you know, talk as if beauty is that important. I don’t want to say it’s not important, but it should certainly be a lot lower of a priority than it probably is on most of our minds.”
Johnson shared a similar notion. “Just be yourself. Be your own natural self, and let your beauty—your inner beauty, your outer beauty—let it show.”
Johnson has ultimately found peace in aging and growing into herself. “I accept the age that I am,” she said. “Every year that I am here to see it, I accept it. And I always tell people how old I am, and I accept it. I’m like, ‘I’m growing old, gracefully.’ I just take it one day at a time.”
