my heart bears me

an original poem

wooters_heartbearsmefinal-01
by Megan Wooters / Garnet & Black

the heart bears me

a babe birthed anew

in every broken beat

every melody strummed on

the fragile strings that keep me

     moving, breathing, feeling

popping poetry like pills

i let the words slide through my lungs

the air of broken hearts

and unsteady limbs supporting

my concaving soul


i stack words like beams

     sturdy in their strength, with lines

     intertwined

i drink myself giddy

empty bottles litter the ground, 

labels reading

     euphoria 

     sunrises

     all of the colors in the world

i drown myself in joy 

until i am treading water

until i can no longer touch all of the sadness

sunken to the bottom

it lurks, my monster in the closet

the one i cannot see

but know is there


i plug my nose, count to three and dive on two

     reverse, reverse, reverse

arms carving through the water

     my palm meets the pain

i am grasping at it in fistfuls 

the pulse of my heart sending it

swirling, spiraling into the waters above

until i am breathing air

     the water suddenly shown only 

on my drenched body, prickled and shaking

i pull at my skin, my hair, my eyes

for swimming to the bottom

     collecting heartbreak like seashells

my cheeks now wet 

from salty tears


i turn to my nightly prescription bottle

of affirmations

i use my night light to guide me back 

to the waters i know

drink euphoria and sunrises and colors

until i am floating 

     a babe once again

born anew in every pulse of this fragile heart

before bed, i touch my thumb to its center

and paint all of the wild colors 

down my arms, each stroke 

a promise not to dive deep again

     my heart now barren on my sleeve

it tickles in the way all promises do 

that are made to be undone

but floating now, i greet the sun

and whisper to myself

happy birthday 

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